Ultimate You Change Centre

Does your personality suck?

by: Ben Nowlan

99% of the time I get my blog post ideas from genuine life experiences. I usually jot down the idea in my journal or my little ‘Evernote’ app and ill come back to it later when I’m ready [or have time] to write the blog post. When I was going back through blog ideas and came across this heading and notes I had a little cackle to myself. “Who in the hell rubbed me the wrong way when I had this idea?” I thought to my self. Then I remembered who this person was and the situation that prompted this blog post.

This person didn’t make me angry or overly frustrated, I found them quite challenging and at one point was not quite sure which way to turn but it was never that taxing. In fact, the situation gave me more positive insights and personal reflections then negatives. It made me more conscious of the impressions and perceptions I create for other people of me.“The perception others have of ourselves is entirely up to us”, said the great Stephen Covey.

This situation I encountered was fundamentally a lack of self-awareness and self-development on the other individual’s behalf, which I thought was sad. These fundamentals that I refer to are:

  1. Awareness – Self awareness & the ability to reflect and self-examine
  2. Communication – Its two way and isn’t just about talking.
  3. Perspective – Not everything ‘is’ as it seems; put ourselves in the shoes of the other person we are communicating with. Try to look through the lens that they see the world through.
  4. Humilityprofessor from Macquarie University, Sydney has a keynote on this topic that is fascinating. We are not the most important person on earth and we don’t have to pretend to others that we are or project our egos onto others. Be humble and modest and you will get the attention you deserve.
  5. Open Mind – Not everything we hear or see, or have to do, we have to agree with but we can always learn from. Be open to learning from every situation and be open to the fact that some things ‘just are’. This means we don’t have to learn from them or there doesn’t have to be some big universal reason.

Think about these 5 skills for yourself. Do any of them need developing?

Spend the rest of the week ahead observing yourself in conversations and interactions with others and see how they respond or how the conversation flows. Ask someone close to you for an honest opinion. I actually asked a couple of friends last week and I received some really helpful insights – we just have to be ok with whatever response we get when we try this exercise.

Don’t be one of those people at work or at the party that people try to avoid. Our success in building relationships is not genetically determined trait. All of the skills listed above can be improved and just like a muscle will get stronger with a workout.


About the Writer:

Ben Nowlan Is an exercise physiologist, weight loss expert, health business entrepreneur and blog writer. Ben’s latest project is weightopia.com – an online psychology weight loss platform and health community”.