Ultimate You Change Centre

Why is it so hard to say no! By: Matt Lavars

Please dear god give me the strength to resist the yumminess of this chocolate muffin before me….(Yes I am making up words!) We all know how this story ends! Why is it so hard to just eat the right foods?

Today I am going to share with you a few secrets that may create a different ending to this story… From a human behavior point of view we are actually very simple creatures, we have 6 core needs that must be met at all times. The part where it gets interesting is that we will meet these needs in a resourceful way or an un-resourceful way. Your 6 core needs are


say no to food2

1. Certainty

– the need for things to be the same

2. Variety

– the need for things to change and be different

3. Significance

– the need to feel important, know that you matter

4. Love/Connection

– the need to feel loved and connect with others

5. Growth

– the need to learn, improve and grow

6. Contribution

– the need to help others beyond ourselves

There is a saying in the human behavior world that you always have everything exactly the way you want it. What that actually means is that even your problems meet your needs in one way or another. For example have you ever been in a relationship with someone and just created some drama for the hell of it? Maybe you were just bored and everything became so certain that you had to mix it up with some variety. That is an example of you meeting your need for variety in an un-resourceful way. It’s a great example to why it is so important for a relationship to always stay fresh.

Now if your health and fitness is a problem right now you need to ask yourself “How I am meeting my core needs by keeping my problem?” How much certainty do you get by knowing that you will always have it? How much variety to your problems give you? How much significance do you get from being able to complain about it? How much connection do you get from others when you talk about it? And so on.

The next step here is to ask yourself what I could do to meet my needs in a more resourceful way. Removing your problem is no good unless you replace it with something else. For example, I used to eat a whole lot of crap food because I felt better about myself for a short period of time. I was meeting my need for connection with self through food. Now instead of that I train hard, eat clean and I am proud of my body. I meet my need for love and connection with self through caring about my body and being proud of the way I look.
The tip here is to know how to meet your needs in as many resourceful ways as possible, because like it or not. You will meet your needs in one way or another.


Article Written by: Matt Lavars Human Behavior Coach 

Matt is a NLP Practitioner/Human Behavior coach. He has been in the health and wellness industry for over 5 years now and has worked with hundreds of people in creating a healthier, happier and leaner bodies. Matt uses a practical form of Psychology called NLP to help people create a synergy between the body and the mind so that correct heath, vitality and healing can take place as they should. Matt’s approach is fun, light and easy. The way change should be, none of this boring old serious stuff!